This Thursday was Max and mine’s 2 month wedding anniversary. Go us! I can’t believe our wedding was just two months ago. Crazy how time flies, huh?
In honor of our anniversary and because I had some free time, I decided to sift through some of our wedding cards. Yes, I’m a pack rat. I keep everything, especially cards. It’s silly, I know. Max doesn’t get it at all.
Anyways, it was fun reading through our family and friend’s words of wisdom. Every third card or so an aunt or close family friend would write something memorable like, “Never go to bed angry with each other” or “Say you love each other every time you talk.”
Their kind words got me thinking: how has marriage advice changed throughout the years? Naturally, I turned to Google. Here are the best tidbits I found. I hope you enjoy them just as much as I did!
It is up to you to earn the proposal – by waging a dignified, common-sense campaign designed to help him see for himself that matrimony rather than bachelorhood is the keystone of a full and happy life. – How to Make Him Propose
I never thought about finagling a ring quite like this, though now that I think about it, I definitely know girls who have taken this route. You’ve heard of girls going to college just to get a Mrs. degree right? It’s almost like this book is encouraging manipulation. I always thought that was sort of bad for a relationship…
To be a successful wife is a career in itself, requiring among other things, the qualities of a diplomat, a businesswoman, a good cook, a trained nurse, a schoolteacher, a politician and a glamour girl – Emily Mudd
This excerpt reminds me of one of my favorite movies, Mona Lisa Smile. In it, a teacher (Julia Roberts) shows up at a prestigious East Coast school for girls and she’s shocked by how ultra conservative they are. She attempts to impart modern notions and an independent spirit, but ultimately discovers that the school isn’t ready for her bohemian ways. If you’ve never seen it, t’s a great movie.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours – 1950’s Home Economics Book
Say what? His topics are more important? What happened to thinking of husbands and wives as a team? I know that’s how Max and I think of our relationship. We work at everything together.
Don’t bother your husband with petty problems and complaints when he comes home from work, be a good listener. Let him tell you his troubles; yours will seem trivial in comparison. – Edward Podolsky, Sex Today in Wedded Life
Again, I feel like a husband and wife should be a team. You both bring something different and special to the table – that’s why you got married in the first place, right? Because you complete each other, not because one person somehow outranks the other.
Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or question his integrity. Remember, his is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. – 1950’s Home Economics Book
Holy mack. There’s so many things wrong with this piece of advice, it’s almost treasonous.
I verily believe that the happiness of homes is destroyed more frequently by the habit of nagging than by any other one. A man may stand that sort of thing (nagging) for a long time, but the chances are against his standing it permanently. If he needs peace to make life bearable, he will have to look for it elsewhere than in his own house. And it is quite likely that he will look. – Reverend Alfred Henry Tyrer, Sex Satisfaction and Happy Marriage
This one I kind of agree with. I’m not saying don’t voice your opinion (bottling up your emotions only leads to repressed feelings), but constantly nagging your spouse can never be a positive thing for your relationship, especially if the topic you’re nagging about is false. Read: if you’re constantly accusing your husband of cheating, eventually he’s going to just cheat. Psychologists call this self-fulfilling prophecy.
Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. – 1950’s Home Economics Book
Sometimes it’s nice to have alone time away from your spouse. If your husband having poker night or guy’s night bothers you though, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t voice your opinions.
Which piece of advice do you find the most outrageous? Mine is definitely Emily Mudd’s definition of a successful wife! Talk about unrealistic! Oi!